How the Obamas see US

After recent comments by the Obamas, it seems to me that for them, the US falls into a few basic categories:

Cootie States: Places where the residents are all pox-eaten barbarians who don’t do no readin’ and writin’. Presumably he’s hopeful that these noble savages can be educated to join the growing phenomenon that is Obamania.
Example: Kentucky
Second Example: Arkansas; you know, that state just across the Kentucky border.

Hellhole States: Those states where the snaggle-toothed, inbred hillbillies drag their knuckles and fire their guns at anything that moves. Everyone there is racist, although they can read. But only their bibles, which they cling to bitterly with their dirty, filthy, calloused hands.
Example: West Virginia
Second Example: Pennsylvania

Enlightened States: Those places where our philosopher-kings are all sufficiently elevated that they can weigh in on how we lowly peasants should be living our lives.
Example: Illinois
Second Example: Iowa

Traitor States: These people ought to know better, but for some reason they can’t realize that it’s in their best interest to vote Obama. So they get a pass on criticism, so long as they come in line in the general election and stop fooling around.
Example: California
Second Example: New York

Hard-Luck States: The noble residents of these fine states have hit on hard times, but very soon the touch of government reform and restricted trade will resuscitate their flagging industries and give meaning to their lives once again. Just like it did in the 30’s.
Example: Ohio
Second Example: Pennsylvania

States Which Must Not Be Named: These states don’t exist. Don’t discuss them. Don’t mention them. Their name must not be spoken aloud. Do not attempt to count delegates or populations from these states. But be sure to vote Obama in November, okay? It’s not personal or anything.
Example: Michigan
Second Example: Florida